The Things I fear .

1st-

Spiders. I haven't always been so freaked out by them, in fact... I used to be able to kill them. But not anymore. They freaking scare me to death. And this picture doesn't help...

Courtesy of Allie Brosh. The funniest artist/blogger ever. If you wanna see her blog, click this.

2nd-

Bunnies. (and other Small furry animals i.e. Hamsters, Ferrets, Gerbils) Thanks, Monty Python and the Holy Grail...

3rd-

Being Kidnapped. So I was 10 years old when 14 year old Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped. I was sooo scared, I used to wake up in the middle of the night and fall sleep by my parents bedroom door.

4th-

Public speaking. I know... Most everyone is scared of this.

5th-

Becoming an old maid... :) Yes, I DO realize I'm only 19 years old. But come on, there is always a possibility. (Funny side note. I was going to say, "End up alone" but when I typed in "Alone" in google images... I couldn't help but laugh at all the EMO pictures...)

6th-

Failure. I plan on doing my graduate program at the University of Utah. Earlier, I found out the Psychology program at the U is extremely difficult to get into. *GULP* What if I don't make it?

But Kevin W. Pearson, a member of the Seventy said this in his April 2009 General Conference talk, "Faith and fear cannot coexist. One gives way to the other. The simple fact is we all need to constantly build faith and overcome sources of destructive disbelief."

This is my challenge as I prepare to go to school. With prayer, scripture study, along with devotion to school work, I know I can succeed. :) This is also my challenge to you. To put it simply, I'm gonna quote "A Cinderella Story," how cheesy, right?! "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." Always do what you need to do, trust in the Lord, and work hard.

Simply Live...

Everyone has a "Mission Statement" or a motto that they try to live by.

Like "That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger," "When the going gets tough, the tough get going," "What goes around, comes around," or in the words of Simba, "Hakuna Matata- Slimy, yet satisfying."

Mine is "Simply Live." I came up with it in a pivotal time of my life. I am kind of a control freak if any of you hadn't noticed. Especially when it comes to feelings of "infatuation" or "crushes." My poor roommates had to deal with a lot of my mellow-dramatic rants of "Why hasn't he texted me??" and "UGH! I hate men! They are such jerks!" (... sounds familiar... still!)

Back in November I really started to like this guy, "Sam" as we'll call him. I felt like if he didn't pay his every waking attention to me, that he had all of the sudden decided he didn't like me anymore. I was pathetic. I finally realized how much energy I legitimately wasted on NOT being happy with him.

I felt like I had to be in control of everything. I even went to the extremes of having my sweet, dear roommate Ashley change his name in my phone so I wouldn't stress over who should text the other one first.

The day Sam and I officially ended things was tough on me. I thought long and hard about the amount of time I wasted trying to figure things out that didn't need to be figured out. I thought to myself, Why do stress over everything... even the things I can't control? I just need to let things flow naturally. I need to Simply Live!

That night, we drove to Denny's and we talked. I told Sam I was really struggling with the fact that he didn't care about me as much as I did him. He told me I was trying to force things, way too much. Sam just looked at me and said, "You just need to simply live." NO, I am not making this up. He basically read my mind. I told him, "Oh my gosh! I know EXACTLY what you mean."

On my mirror are oversized purple letters reading, "Simply Live." My phone has a banner across it, reminding me to "Simply Live..." Those words have been on there since November.

I'm not saying I'm perfect at it. Because, let's be honest, I still struggle a ridiculous amount with control. But it's something I am really constantly reminding myself to do.

"Simply Living" means to me, letting the Lord's hand in my life a little more prominently. Trusting in His plan for me. Not trying to push all my goals and sights into His Master plan.

I know it's cheesy. But a motto is something to help me grow.

The New Looks.

I accidentally cut my bangs too short a couple weeks ago. I guess it's an okay look for me when my hair is either up or curled. My straight hair has zero personality with straight-across bangs. The worst comment I heard about them was from my co-worker, Nancy.

I was feeling really self-conscious as it was and she was like, "Oh, sweetie, I wish I had my scissors so we could straighten them out." She was one check-stand away from me so she kinda had to talk loudly.

Thanks, Nancy. You're so sweet, looking out for me and pointing out what I was hoping no one would see. We should be best friends.

That's like someone announcing to everyone that your clothes slightly clash while at the party. You know the classy thing is to just ignore it and not say anything... or take the poor person aside and be like, "Hey bimbo, you do know that neon pink and orange look terrible together... right?"

I really do like this picture. I think my bangs have some style and spunk (I'm so cocky, I know :)).

I was watching my adorable niece Tay yesterday. While she was just playing with her water table, I decided to grab my laptop and change the look of my Blog. I know it's kinda different, but I'm really diggin' the animal print. It's just young and fun... Like me! :D

Tay came over to see what I was doing on my computer and I showed her "Photo Booth" She was loving it! So here are some cute and fun pictures of my niece!

In this next one, she had to grab her "Cubby" and "Banket" to debut to the world! She loves them very much...obviously ;)

I love babysitting her because she's crazy and hilarious! A lot like my whole family. :)

The only way to stay sane is to change things up every once in a while.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

DON'T judge my blog right now... it's under construction and not up to par. I'll get to it later. :D

Oops.

So this weekend would have been great except for the fact that I got in an accident and my passenger got hurt. I feel terrible.

We had just gone boating with my brother and sister-in-law up at Deer Creek and decided to go get shakes at "Granny's" and me and Brady (my friend) went first. I have a friend who lives in Heber and when we got lost, I decided to give her a call. Right as I hung up and had gotten both hand on the wheel, I realized the car in front of me was stopped. Sounds silly that I didn't know they were stopped but there was no stop sign, light, anything! There was a car show going on and people were crossing. I hit the car in front of me, going 30 mph. We were both wearing our seat belts which was good. I was fine, the only thing that happened to me was BABY burns on my arms from the airbag. Brady on the other hand, has burns on his face (kind of like when you skin your knee on a slide or some kind of plastic), a broken wrist, and swollen lips. To top it all off, he has to give his homecoming talk today. Go Tiffany. You rock.

Grumblebee, my sweet, loyal, and faithful car is maybe a loss. I don't know the extent of the internal damages but she's pretty beat up. Her front end is dented in and the hood is protruding. Her windshield is shattered, thanks to the airbags. Her dashboard is obviously lost as well. I am soooo bummed out. The weird thing is that earlier my brother was like "wow, take care of your car" when I shoved something into my messy trunk. I was like, "Kent, this car is my baby, I would never do anything to hurt her." Ouch.

The other car was fine. I'm sure I'll have to replace the bumper just because bumpers are kind of a one time use. But nothing for them... not a scratch. Which is really lucky.

Now, all I have to worry about is money. I have to get a new car, or replace all the damages to Grumblebee, pay for the other car's new bumper, pay for Brady's medical bills, and pay for the insurance deductible. All while trying to save up for college. I love money, but it must hate me. It's always trying to get away from me.

I'm very grateful I'm okay, Brady's "okay", and the other people were okay as well. I am lucky, but right now all I feel is guilty and nervous.

Hopefully with a lot of prayers I will figure things out.

I will post pictures soon, I think we're gonna go get the car tomorrow...

Growing Up...

So I feel like I'm still a kid. But I guess that's because I am, I have so much life ahead of me. I'm 19 years old but I know I'm growing up. I've been graduated for a little over a year now. Things have changed, but I love where I'm at now.

I look at my old blog, my super private one... and I see how pathetic I was when it came to how I lived my life. I just sat around, waiting for adventure to come... I watched so much television, spent so much time on Facebook that I didn't even know what living was.

I think college was the greatest experience of my life. I think the fact that I don't live at home now is a great experience too! No offense to my parents, but I think the fact that I wake up earlier (not early. Just Earlier!) and don't stay out as late on my own accord is... progress. SELF progress.

I enjoy who I am now. I mean I still have major flaws that I can't stand, but I'm who I wanted to be a year ago.

I embrace change! I think that's one of my greatest strengths/talents/or whatever you wanna call it. I am so excited for life and the crazy curveballs it throws at me! I mean I don't think I can handle them very gracefully, but I think my thirst for life helps me keep going.

I'm bragging about myself, I guess. But how often does that happen?? I am officially bragging about a trait I have!

I know there are going to be hard times and I know that I'm still going to cry at times. I just know that with the help of my Heavenly Father, Family, and Friends... I'll be just fine. I am excited to grow up, but right now I'm simply going to LIVE and if growing up happens during that time, so be it. I really love life.

ReKrap & Adumb.

So I know I swore off guys. You see the thing is, I maybe only half-heartedly meant it... I must have, or else I wouldn't be telling you guys about this:

I wrote Parker off. Finally, after much deliberation. I sent him "The Letter" and "Dear John'd" him. If you actually know who I am, you know my past with Parker. About a year and a half ago, we started dating. I was never quite sure about my feelings for him so we were very on and off. A few months before his mission we finally decided to stick together, he gave me a "Promise Ring," and we were happy as could be. Well obviously things weren't all honky-dory, and I really started praying about what I should do next... got my answer and here we are! "ReKrap" is Parker spelled backwards, which is how I feel sometimes... I kept going back even when I felt like how I treated him was "Krap"

Adumb. You don't even want to know. I just know tonight was the most annoying night of my life. This is why I'm not ready to date. AT ALL. He seemed great, he technically IS great, but nope. Nothing. And he was kind of a butthead tonight. Oh well, maybe once I actually get it through my head that all men REALLY do suck, I'll be able to move on!

Goodnight.